There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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