I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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