would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
