The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
