in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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