Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize