You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
