I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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