trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
