Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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