he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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