Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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