If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
