It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
