The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
