You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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