just come out here and I will go home with you...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
