i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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