Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
