i think i have two assholes
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize