i permit you to call me
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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