I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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