Yo dont text me then not text me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
