You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
