Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
this boner is exhausting
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
