at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
