its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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