That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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