I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
being pregnant is like rehab
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
