brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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