Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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