Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i think my cat just said my name.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Your penis caused this!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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