he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize