its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
