its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
