Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Randomize
