Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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