Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
