I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just want to make out with him forever
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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