We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
