I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
