is your mom at the bar?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
