dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
