if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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