You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You have to summon your inner elephant
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
