I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
