Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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