so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize