i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
