You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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