Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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