dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize