are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
