And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
