i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize