Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
