Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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