Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
