dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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