I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
