My friends, they love my intelligence
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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