What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
