White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize