you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
