sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
