The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
